For Oleg Bernov, Igor Yuzov, and Zhenya Kolykhanov - better known as the Red Elvises - the sweltering croon and swiveling hips of The King could do nothing to penetrate the bitter cold of Siberian winters. They were born and raised in Russia, and for them Elvis Presley was just some sweaty fat fuck who sang sappy pop songs for blue-haired biddies. But all that changed once the lads arrived in Los Angeles' neon wilderness in 1996.

  Suddenly, Elvis made perfect sense - the sequined suits, the platform shoes, the sideburns. Not only did the wee Russkies get Elvis, they were virtually transmogrified by his omnipresence. Sure, they tried to stay true to their cultural heritage, going so far as to join an ethnic Russian dance band. But the spirit of the king was too strong: Gold lamé tux jackets and Elvis ties began creeping into their wardrobes as their blood slowly thawed to the rhythm of American rock music. And so the Red Elvises were born.

  The rest of the story reads like a wacky, unpredictable sitcom pilot: After much good-natured cajoling, the boys don their snazziest threads and bop down to Venice Beach to fool around with their instruments, and - would you believe it - they are a smash hit. Bigger than El Vez even, and before you can say blini, they're appearing in Kit-Kat commercials and Playboy, and showing up on MTV, Access Hollywood, and Entertainment TV. VH-1 produces a documentary about them, and two guest appearances on Melrose Place confirm that they have indeed arrived. Despite the bright lights and accolades, the boys never lose their doltish Siberian charm, referring to their sweethearts in song as "chocolate cake" and "well-done steak." reverent covers of "Blue Moon" and "Love Me Tender" are interspersed with goofy "Siberian Surfabilly" originals like "El Niño" and "Sad Cowboy Song."

  Bernov plays a clownish instrument called a balalaika bass - bright red, triangular, and bigger than three of him. With his unmistakable lip curl, Yuzov leaps onto tabletops, performs synchronized leg kicks, and seduces girls from the stage while their muscle-bound boyfriends look on in bewilderment. It's the American Dream realized and, sentimentality aside, party bands don't get much better. The Red Elvises perform at the Great American Music Hall on Thursday, Nov.12, with Frenchy and Shitty Shitty Band Band opening at 9 p.m. Tickets are $8; call 885-0750.