What’s the cure for condos? More Elvises

On tap tonight: Red Elvises and Skipper’s Smokehouse, a match made in Soviet surf rock heaven.

Well, it is for now. Get out and see ‘em soon, because you never know what could happen.

Hey, I only worry because one of my favorite local music venues, Ybor City’s the Masquerade, shuttered last month.

Man, I loved the Masquerade. Under that name and in its previous incarnation as the Ritz, I enjoyed shows by the Afghan Whigs to Fishbone to Smashing Pumpkins. All were unforgettable.

And I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast this morning.

(My editor’s going to want me to clarify the joke, but I’m not giving in.)

I made this next point a little while ago on my blog, The Ill Literate (official motto: Corrupting Debutantes Since 2005). As I’m writing about Skipper’s it’s appropriate to note it again.

Someday some idiot is going to want to tear down Skipper’s to build a condominium.

Don’t panic, I’m not saying it’s going to happen tomorrow.

(However, I am saying that tomorrow the Earth will crash into the sun. Just a heads-up.)

You might have noticed that at this rate, every single good thing in Tampa Bay – and every bad thing too – eventually will be torn down to build a condominium.

And I will laugh and laugh and laugh at their fate.

From my home.

In a culvert.

So until that horrible day when North Tampa’s musical jewel becomes some ungodly combination of the words “Bay” or “Sky” or “Sun” with the words “Pointe” or “Glade” or “Vista,” let’s enjoy Skipper’s as much as we can.

Which brings me to tonight’s Red Elvises, which bills itself as a surf rock group from Siberia. Actually, two members hail from Russia, one from Kazakhstan and one from Minnesota.

I first saw the Elvises when they appeared in the cult film Six-String Samurai, and since then I’ve caught them a solid half-dozen times – most recently a couple of months ago at Skipper’s.

They’re pretty much the perfect band to see at Skipper’s backyard concert area, a.k.a. the Skipperdome, where you have a few beers and dance in the Florida air before it becomes too hot.

Which should happen, oh, by tomorrow.

And when you go, if you feel your body start to shake uncontrollably with an insistent rhythm, don’t worry – it’s not bulldozers coming to clear land for a condo.

It’s just the Elvises.

Well... probably.

Best come out and support Skipper’s just to be safe.

Rick Gershman can be reached at rgershman@sptimes.com or (813) 226-3431. His Times blog, The Ill Literate, is at www.sptimes.com/blogs/tampaarts/